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Molly Hall

Solstice 'Scopes — Your Forecast

By December 17, 2012

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My precious black tuxedo cat Bellina died yesterday, after spending a week at the vet for intensive care. It took my husband and I by surprise, and we were distraught to let go. When she began to fade, I tried to summon some super reiki, cat whispering, sage-ing and my husband and I tried to revive her with our kisses. She's the one we found a few days old, walking in a ditch on shaky legs with eyes filmy and unfocused. She was bottle fed and every milestone --first time using litter box, first solid food, first time climbing a tree -- was snapped with our little digital camera.

She grew into an elegant and very cool cat. Even full grown though, she ran for me to pick her up, and walk with her around the garden. Very often she sat on a pillow on my desk. I've had lots of cats, but she was a deeply bonded familiar.

What's relevant here is Saturn is moving across my 8th house of death, in its own house of Scorpio. This grief is in the early stage, but because she was a soul mate, her loss is opening old wounds. Even in my sadness, with a literal lump in my throat, I feel grateful because I know this will heal me profoundly. I haven't cried in months, and now, it's a deluge, and coming from the depths -- a gift of release.

We're just four days away from Winter Solstice, with its light-bringing "Finger (or Hand) of God." With Saturn and Pluto, it's coming out of experiences that reach in to the core, so that even we are surprised to be turned inside out. Like for us, it can involve something that's beyond your control -- "No, No No! Anything but that!" And in that moment, instead of shutting down -- which for me was a learned behavior from early trauma -- we open our minds to see it with fresh eyes. This is the miracle of Jupiter Gemini, and the possibility that I've tried to express here with these Solstice Scopes. Look for where transiting Jupiter is moving through, to find your forecast.

See Also Bethesda Fountain, Central Park, NYC; Angel of the Waters holding a Lily, the flower of transformation/passages, purification, innocence, faith, hope, renewal.
December 17, 2012 at 11:13 am
(1) D.D. Olson says:

I’m so sorry about Bellina. I know how hard it is to lose a pet, especially one that shares a special bond with you. I like to think of my departed pets as my guardian angels, always there, not too far away.

December 17, 2012 at 11:46 am
(2) Molly Hall says:

Thank you DD Olson,
The other night at a New Moon circle, I asked one of my departed cats “Gray” to join us, saying ‘he’s always been a scout for our family.’
What’s curious is that he helped raise Bellina, and just passed over in April. So my hope is that they are together, in a lush green place, over the rainbow bridge….but also, not too far away.

December 17, 2012 at 12:20 pm
(3) Lita says:

Dear Molly, I enjoy your blog, thus I know you in some way and you don’t know me. I am glad you can see this as an opportunity for healing, a special kind that only loss can gift us with. You are cared for by more than you know. I too shed a tear for my lost cat and am grateful for my wonderful 8 month old new companion, also bottle raised.

December 17, 2012 at 1:46 pm
(4) Molly says:

Thank you so much Lita, I have a little kitten too called Baby Jim who is five months — and the kitty love is very healing! I couldn’t sleep last night, and got up and grabbed Baby Jim, his purring was the healing frequency.
Animals have been my biggest teachers in life – they are central in our lives. Best to you and yours….

December 17, 2012 at 3:37 pm
(5) Mari says:

I am so sorry , Molly. My heart goes out to you.

I remember seeing those pictures of your beloved Bellina when she was a kitten. She was so full of life and love and truly lived up to her name,

Peace and comfort to both of you in your time of sorrow.

December 17, 2012 at 4:35 pm
(6) Vicki says:

I am deeply sorry for your loss. I too just lost my black pug Shadow Sept. 15th and she was the one I really bonded with like you were saying. I cried for over a month & still do. It was unexpected & heart wrenching. I got another dog but no other will replace Shadow.

December 17, 2012 at 5:18 pm
(7) Lili says:

Dear Molly, I can palpate your grief, and this news of yours brought tears into my eyes. I share your sadness and understand your loss, because I also lost a favorite pet eight years ago and know how it feels. I have seven dogs now, and am also encircled with people who have animals, and we all keep our animals in prayers when we make a wish. I am profoundly sorry.

December 17, 2012 at 8:38 pm
(8) Molly says:

I’m so touched by your comments — thank you all.

Mari, yes, she’s the one that sat on your birth chart.
Bellina w/ chart Not sure how to show this link here, but it’s on my Twitter (Astro Mythos)
“I love cats because I enjoy my home; and little by little they become its visible soul.” Jean Cocteau

“Until one has loved an animal, a part of the soul remains unawakened.” Anatole France

Love those — big hugs to all fellow animal lovers who’ve loved and lost….and keep opening the heart. I am still teary but we went to the Hobbit and that helped. ; )

December 18, 2012 at 12:40 am
(9) Liz says:

Much love and hugs to you, dear Molly. I saw the Hobbit too last weekend, wonderful! Enjoy your lovely kitten,

December 18, 2012 at 9:15 am
(10) Helene says:

Dear Molly,
I am do sorry about your loss of your precious kitty. It is heart breaking to lose a one you love. It made me think that part of these shifts are to reconnect with animals and nature. I just wanted yo thank you for your beautiful horoscopes. Your genuinity shines through. Hope you and your family have a holiday filled with love and joy!
Thank you!

December 18, 2012 at 1:28 pm
(11) Taku says:

Dearest and amazing, Molly~ may your beloved Bellina be in peace and may your tears bring to surface what was beneath~ thank you for your wisdom- as it guides me on my path~ Solstice Blessings dear one~ <3

December 18, 2012 at 2:25 pm
(12) rose says:

sorry about ur cat, i think everyone should own one.

December 18, 2012 at 2:39 pm
(13) Anne says:

Dearest Molly,
I am so sorry to read about the loss of Bellina. I know the pain and sadness because I have lost 3 beloved cats in my life. Although it has been a number of years, I think of them often and even dream about them. I’ve never had any more cats because of the deep pain, maybe I never really got over it. Your post and those of your readers have inspired me to try again with a new pet, a big step for me. Thank you, dear friend, and best wishes to you and your readers in the New Year!

December 19, 2012 at 1:45 am
(14) silvijam says:

I am so sorry for the loss of your cat. I do know what it is like to lose a soulmate pet. i lost both of mine I had for 16 years 2 years ago, a mother and son. Lucy, came into y life after losing my baby. I found or rather she found me, lost, limping, and I took her in, even though I had 3 other cats. The vet said she was healthy but pregnant. Oh boy! But watching her get rounder, having her kittens, only one survived, Ricky, helped me get over my grief. She was a gift and her kitten was a gift. They gave me so much joy. It was a very difficult year when they died, first Ricky, then Lucy 3 months later, and then my father passed away. It took some time, but eventually I went to the shelter and found 2 more.
I know what it is like to have that special one or more pet. They are in your soul and they will always be within your soul and watch over you like little guardian angels.

December 21, 2012 at 1:36 am
(15) Melissa says:

Thinking of you & sending my condolences to you and your husband.
I lost my Otis kitty last year, practically on the same day….we were in the emergency vet on December 16th, and right after midnight he would be crossing the rainbow bridge. He was 15 and I’d had him almost 11 years. This year I bought a candle and burnt it till after midnight, playing the song that chose him and I when I had to drive him to the emergency vet….Forever and a Day by Jewel.

Sending you comfort in waves of understanding along with the healing that comes with time.

December 22, 2012 at 6:53 pm
(16) Molly says:

I’m overwhelmed by all your wonderful comments – thank you Liz, yes parts of the Hobbit were wonderful.

Helene, I do think these losses bring home how intimately bonded we are to nature. So much emphasis is on the human babies, and being a parent, which has not been my path in this life. Since my earliest days I was a kind of lady of the beasts. This is confirmation that this is a valid and worthy way.

December 22, 2012 at 6:55 pm
(17) Molly says:

Thank you Taku, for your solstice blessings.
And Rose, I appreciate your condolences.

December 22, 2012 at 6:56 pm
(18) Molly says:

Anne, Thanks for sharing your story. I can understand being hesitant to open your heart. I’ll say what a friend told me once, after a terrible break up — ‘only Love heals Love.’ And perhaps it’s that way with our beloved fur babies.

December 22, 2012 at 7:00 pm
(19) Molly says:

Your story is powerful, and a tribute to healing loss by opening the heart. I know our loss is less sharp because we have a black kitten who makes us laugh and gets under the covers on these cold nights. It doesn’t replace Bellina, but it has reminded me that there will be Love always, in different ways. I’m sorry for your losses and can relate to your story since I lost a pregnancy a few years ago. Thank you for sharing.

December 22, 2012 at 7:03 pm
(20) Molly says:

That’s such a cute name for a kitty, Otis. How meaningful that you have a special song. My friend (also a cat lover) brought the Sting CD that I wrote about today to our solstice gathering. And that will always remind me of this time of asking for healing and to come to a sense of peace about my decisions and actions the week before she died. Not that I did anything ‘wrong,’ but would have done things differently, with hindsight. Thanks for your kindest words….

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