“I am still up, at almost 5:00am. I am truly doing the process of my Pluto/Mercury transit, which is the next article I'm currently writing about. Its been difficult. I feel as though I'm going through every layer of my own inadequacies. There's pain there, almost a sense of futility and hopelessness. I must keep my eye on the ball here - this is truly Pluto on my mind. Be careful of what you wish for, or have to write about - you'll end up doing the process.” That was my post on my Facebook page this morning (as of January 8th, 2012).
You see, I'm now working on this part of the article about Pluto/Mercury, and my mind, whether I like it or not, has gone there. We all have those things within us that seem to rear out of our own dark side, only to try to commandeer our own thought processes. This is what it feels like, with Pluto on (natal) Mercury.
As soon as I shifted my focus to Pluto on Mercury, I ended up there. Its a wasteland, a place where no one ever wants to visit. This stuff won’t let you rest, until you get some kind of perspective on it, which I’m doing right now, hoping that writing about this will help me release it.Purging Toxins
If there’s ever been a time that you have shut down and not spoken up about some kind of pain you’ve had since you were a child, or you had a strong belief that what you said to people wasn’t OK, and that pain has grown to toxic levels within your soul, you’re gonna have to get that stuff out. Purge it. Release it. If you’ve got a life time of it, then there’s a lot to release.
This may be, but the losing of the pain and toxic mess is necessary to transform.
We talked about in the first part of this piece, about Uranus squaring Mercury, which operates swiftly, decisively, and wildly. The major opportunity is to discard former debilitating beliefs that have been limiting one’s forward momentum. The more difficult transit of Pluto seems to drag us through the mental mud during this one.
There are so many ways this transit can go, and I’ll elaborate: Whatever the events or occurrences, there is a need to dig as deeply into a situation or problem as deep as possible. The soul has control over this one - so sitting with some very uncomfortable truths isn’t easy.One-Two Punch
I always feel that transits are divinely timed, and work sequentially. They all serve a purpose, no matter when they occur during your life. Often times when they come back to back, there has to be that first thing that moves you through to a new level, and then the next transit somehow finishes it up, or takes up where the last one left off.
When two are together, like these two are for me, then multi-layers of material are being examined - with Pluto and Uranus - Pluto will unearth the issue, then we process it, then Uranus helps us discard and detach from it.
Perhaps I should have started with Pluto, but I will tell you that because I have natal Uranus and Mercury square, it was more natural for me to start with that pairing. In any case, the result will be the same - deep, power issues will have a chance to be really addressed, from the bottom up.A Reckoning
All of the books talk about this transit as encountering other people with ideas that will be decidedly different than your own, and that you will learn to stand your ground, because of the adversity. That certainly is very possible. Another possibility, and this seems to be applying to myself, is that all the times I kept my voice quiet with my observations and intuitions and feelings - those are coming back now full-force to be reckoned with.
One thing that is very Pluto for me is that words can be said that can end relationships. Words that could be harmful. I have noticed this going on - having to do with other people’s words. And even more so my own. Whatever I say to someone could injure or hurt, and somehow when some type of feeling is unearthed and expressed, one cannot go back to the way a relationship was before.
The pure nature of Pluto brings up those dark thoughts from the bottom of the well, and sometimes forces us to acknowledge them, as well as communicate them. I am still living this transit, and I’m sure, before its over, morph again and again with this, until I feel its safe to fully express myself, at all levels.